tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-147755502024-03-23T18:06:16.662+00:00SarahcontraryI'll try to think of a better title... I like reading my friends' blogs and commenting on them. My husband is a student paramedic and I often learn about his shifts from his blog first! So I thought I'd write a blog about what I think about and my friends can read it too. That's all.Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.comBlogger208125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-42611038864858210872011-06-28T20:02:00.004+01:002011-06-28T20:11:42.732+01:00Two's company...<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Phoebe now has company, in the form of Darcie Hannah, who was born on 10th June, looking like this:<div><br /><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 149px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Qo5vhgwDbwg/TgolmyMAKRI/AAAAAAAAAD4/pJroj2Lhx_A/s200/IMG_0481.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623348432962857234" /></div><div>We had a home birth, which was lovely - two days actually getting into labour and then 55 minutes from being 3cm dilated to actually having a baby. Maybe I'll write a whole post about that for people who like the gory details...</div><div><br /></div><div>Having two babies is a challenge. I'm expecting it to become much more of a challenge when Matt goes back to work in a couple of weeks. It's difficult to manage breastfeeding and a toddler; night feeds; toddler tantrums; leaving the small baby to cry while I get the big one some food; but the hardest thing for me has been emotionally adjusting to not being able to respond to Phoebe immediately, or letting Daddy look after her while I look after Darcie - I feel like I am letting her down constantly. I have to remind myself that she did cry and have tantrums and get frustrated before we had another baby, and that the long-term benefits of her having a sister outweigh the short-term upsets. I did know this might be hard, but I didn't expect it to be quite as painful as it has been. But we're all surviving so far...</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-91943405492715182462011-01-27T21:42:00.003+00:002011-01-27T21:52:12.166+00:00Oops, I did it again...So, we've had the scan and our second baby is another girl (yes, that's my pregnancy announcement...). We are delighted. I was convinced that we were having a boy so am still adjusting to the idea of two little girls. But it feels like quite a relief, in the end - we've already got lots of girl clothes (and it will be lovely to re-use some of the clothes we loved Phoebe wearing) and if necessary they can always share a room - it feels very practical.<div><br /></div><div>Second pregnancies are very different to first pregnancies. For me, there's a lot less shock and upset to deal with as this one was planned, so it's much less stressful. Mostly, I feel less ill and when I do feel ill I don't have time to lie on the sofa feeling miserable as Phoebe's not that interested. Having said that, when I'm exhausted I can't just lie on the sofa and have a sleep as Phoebe's... not that interested.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not just Phoebe. People are very pleased for us but there's not the same excitement. A first pregnancy is a rite of passage, a transition from being non-parents to being parents. Second time round, you're just increasing your family size. I'm not complaining, just saying it's not worth having a second baby just to relive the attention of the first pregnancy.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm much less worried in many ways. I know I can carry a healthy baby, and I don't have time to think about my pregnancy in the same way that I did. I have a much better idea of what it will be like having a newborn - and I know I can survive (though coping with a newborn and an 18-month-old is not, I imagine, going to be fun). I'm more relaxed about getting ready for the baby - at least I was until the 20-week scan - now I know the baby is almost certainly ok I'm making lists and thinking about names etc... But there are new things to think about. Mainly Phoebe. Firstly, what are we going to do with her when I go into labour? Will she be ok? When do I ring whoever is going to look after her and ask them to come and get her? I don't really want her in the house during the early stages when I'm wandering round mooing like a cow. And I certainly don't want to leave it too late (giving birth at home with just Phoebe as a midwife? No thanks!). But then I don't want to call people out on numerous false alarms. And secondly, how is she going to cope with losing our complete and full attention and discovering an interloper in the family? I know millions of people have coped with this and I'm sure we will, but it's the new journey into the unknown...</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-80760246475594343122011-01-17T20:39:00.002+00:002011-01-17T20:55:34.106+00:00Why Toby Young is an idiotI am so rubbish at updating my blog. It isn't likely to get any better either. However... <div><br /></div><div>Toby Young was on <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00xhd7v">PM</a> on Radio 4 today, commenting on the<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12204079"> forthcoming changes to maternity leave</a>. He is a father of four and said that most men wouldn't want to take more paternity leave as they were desperate to get back to work. He said he had felt useless at home and that his wife was glad for him to go back to work (if I was married to him I'd be glad for him to go back to work too). This, apparently, is because women intrinsically know what to do with babies, whereas men are too stupid to work it out. Or something. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had to keep reminding myself that my one-year-old was sitting at the table with me to stop myself shouting "bollocks!" and "bastard!" repeatedly. So women intrinsically know how to look after a baby, do they? I certainly didn't. And it's still guesswork a lot of the time. I hated the first part of my maternity leave - when Phoebe was 5 months old I decided to go back to work earlier than I'd planned because I was so bored. Small babies are really dull. They just cry and need their nappy changing and need feeding. After 6 months they start getting interesting, and by 9 months Phoebe was a joy to be with (sometimes).</div><div><br /></div><div>This idea some men have they they shouldn't have to care for babies because they find it boring and menial and tedious and they aren't very good at it is predicated on the lie that women find nappy changing fascinating and love walking around patting a small person's back to get wind up (winding a baby is the least rewarding activity ever. Is there no wind coming up because you need to keep going? Or because it's all out? No idea. Better keep going just in case). Seriously, babies are not stimulating company for anyone. That's not based on gender, that's based on having a brain.</div><div><br /></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-19927452627794638802010-11-27T21:36:00.003+00:002010-11-27T21:54:40.697+00:00Can't we all just get along?I am still alive, I just don't have much to say or much time to say it in. But I read <a href="http://www.lactivist.net/?p=1951">this article</a> just now and it made me laugh - actually laugh out loud, not just one of those times where you write 'lol' but actually aren't - and I wanted to share it with you.<div><br /></div><div>How to feed your baby is one of the most contentious parenting issues around. There are hundreds of pages on the internet where you can share an opinion and get slated for it. Not all pro-breastfeeders are breastfeeding nazis, by a long way. Not all formula feeders are... well, whatever they get accused of being. But there's a lot of shouting and unpleasantness going on. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had a lot of trouble getting going with breastfeeding. Actually, I was fine. I did everything right. <i>Phoebe</i> had a lot of trouble breastfeeding. She struggled to latch on, got a bit upset at some of the very vigorous help we received, and then screamed every time I tried to feed her. We ended up cup-feeding her formula. After 6 days, I got help from an excellent Infant Feeding Co-ordinator and we had a reasonably happy feeding relationship. I didn't <i>love</i> breastfeeding - I felt tied to my baby and stuck to the sofa - the baby decides when she'll start feeding and when she'll finish feeding and you lose any sense of control you might have once had. But I felt it was worth persevering with as I knew it was good for Phoebe - and I'd worked damn hard to be able to do it...</div><div><br /></div><div>Until we got to 10 months. I went back to work, Phoebe grew top teeth, Phoebe started biting me. Every feed we had, she bit me. It wasn't the most painful thing that had ever happened to me (that would be labour, I think) but it made me nervous about feeding, which made things worse. And I just feel there are some places that you shouldn't have to be bitten. I did try to keep going for a while, but eventually I decided that I didn't want to be bitten any more and I didn't want breastfeeding to become a massively unpleasant experience. I really really wanted to keep going until Phoebe was at least one and probably beyond that and I think that would have been better for her. But she got 10 months of good milk out of me and I am very proud of that.</div><div><br /></div><div>So... I've seen both sides of the debate - the "I can't breastfeed" part, the breastfeeding part, the switching to formula part. I believe that breastmilk is significantly better for babies than formula is. I believe that nearly all women can physically breastfeed. I think all women should receive much more support to breastfeed, and that breastfeeding should be normalised in the UK as the baby feeding choice. But I also think that the costs of succeeding at breastfeeding (for me it was a week of a nightmare three-hourly expressing and feeding schedule which left me with almost no sleep) shouldn't be underestimated and each family should be allowed to choose when they have reached the limits of their ability to pay that price.</div><div><br /></div><div>Essentially, I think we should all be a little nicer to each other. And stop taking meth.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-61025258952750532352010-08-26T13:04:00.002+01:002010-08-26T13:11:58.787+01:00Phoebe's first festivalLongstanding readers of this blog may remember that each August Bank Holiday I go to <a href="http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/">Greenbelt</a>, possibly my favourite place in the world, and I steward. Last year I didn't go as I was pregnant and too fat and tired to move. <div><br /></div><div>Well, tomorrow is Greenbelt again. This year Phoebe and I are going with <a href="http://blog.sanctus1.co.uk/">Sanctus1</a>, our church community. Matt isn't coming but is on hand to come and pick us up if it's too terrible. I'm a combination of excited and nervous. Camping with an 8-month-old is a little frightening, particularly as she's teething and sleeping badly (maybe it's the rest of Sanctus1 who should be frightened). However, I grew up going on camping holidays in a trailer tent with my parents and four siblings - my brother even went in reusable nappies as disposables didn't agree with him. So I know it can be done.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm looking forward to seeing lots of my friends, showing off my beautiful baby, and getting lots of fresh air (hopefully not too fresh). I might even get to see a few bands and talks and take Phoebe to the children's festival (messy play on Sunday!). It's not going to be like my normal Greenbelt, though I expect I'll still be up at 3 am, but hopefully it will be a good one.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-57326648285891132412010-08-18T01:21:00.003+01:002010-08-18T01:36:07.030+01:00Motherhood<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><br />Over the past eight months (yes, really!) I've been asked many times variations on "how are you getting used to motherhood?"<br /><br />Motherhood is shit. Literally. Dirty nappies. 3am wakings for feeds. Constant tiredness. No time for myself. Not much idea what I'm doing. Endless repetitive drudgery. Forgive me if I'm not really selling it. I read somewhere that 'motherhood is not a job that pays in cheques but in hugs and kisses' - but if it were a job I'd expect a pretty good salary and certainly wouldn't be fobbed off with kisses.<br /><br />But let me tell you about Phoebe. She's just got the hang of crawling. She can sit herself up. And she is pulling herself up onto furniture so I expect she'll be walking soon-ish. She loves exploring and climbing on things - mainly me - and she loves being rolled around. Inexplicably she also loves being carried down the stairs by me while her daddy walks down behind us. She smiles when she sees me and cries when I go away. And I miss her if I'm away from her for more than a few hours - I relish the freedom too, but I miss her. It's not a job, it's a relationship.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';"><br />However, I'm not prepared to be one of those people who say "when she smiles at me it's all worth it". I'm not sure it's an equation that can be balanced like that - one smile=3 dirty nappies? I don't really do it because I choose to or because it all balances out - here is just where I find myself, looking after my beautiful baby girl, enjoying the fun bits and just too tired to object to the rest.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/TGsqbqE5KUI/AAAAAAAAADc/8jMoKcvazxc/s1600/photo.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/TGsqbqE5KUI/AAAAAAAAADc/8jMoKcvazxc/s200/photo.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506541624030210370" /></a></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-61701654519427157352010-03-13T22:40:00.003+00:002010-03-13T22:44:24.730+00:00Baby on board?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/S5wUl7yTaLI/AAAAAAAAADU/GBaF2T7ZJfE/s1600-h/baby_on_board.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 147px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/S5wUl7yTaLI/AAAAAAAAADU/GBaF2T7ZJfE/s200/baby_on_board.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448252291147851954" /></a><br /><div>I have always hated baby on board signs in cars. They suggest either that parents think you need to know they have a baby so you make a special effort not to crash into them (because it's ok to maim or kill the childfree in a car accident) or to warn you that they are going to drive badly due to being distracted.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now I understand. It means 'expect exceptionally early braking when approaching stationary traffic or red traffic lights; I will do everything in my power to keep this car moving, however slowly, as otherwise my baby will wake up and cry all the way home'.</div><div><br /></div><div>I still don't plan on having one.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-27228817834742347332010-02-08T14:29:00.002+00:002010-02-08T14:31:07.869+00:00I did not know...... that babies take up so much time.<div>... just how tired I would be.</div><div>... how confusing it is to love someone so much when they stop me sleeping so often.</div><div>... how little there is worth watching at 5am.</div><div>... that my life would change so completely.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-97812216211808952009-12-27T13:38:00.005+00:002009-12-27T14:54:20.845+00:00Special delivery!Look what we found under the Christmas tree!<div><br /></div><div><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/Szd06lqICgI/AAAAAAAAADM/9f0_9nCtw40/s400/100_1456.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419929226453715458" /></div><div><br /></div><div>Phoebe Ella was born at 12.16 pm on Friday 18th December weighing 7lbs. She is so beautiful. We came home from hospital on Tuesday as she had some jaundice and difficulty learning to breastfeed. Looking after her is the hardest and most tiring thing we've ever done, but by far the best.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here she is just after she was born:</div><div><br /></div><div><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/Szd0mXLBGyI/AAAAAAAAADE/XgEPK0D0Y2s/s400/100_1407.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419928878967757602" /></div><div><br /></div><div>And here we are yesterday - she's getting bigger already!</div><div><br /></div><div><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/Szd0StxO0RI/AAAAAAAAAC8/38-I4vzfDr0/s400/100_1457.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419928541436236050" /></div><div> </div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-17926028472663067792009-11-22T09:53:00.003+00:002009-11-22T10:01:43.999+00:00Moving towards maternityI left work to start my maternity leave on Friday. I have been really looking forward to this as I've been so tired and, over the past few weeks, my focus has been moving more and more from trying to get my project finished to getting ready to have a baby. I've been very lucky in having someone gradually taking over my work, so I haven't had to worry and I know I'm leaving things in very competent hands.<div><br /></div><div>I had a lovely last day - I came home feeling that I'd finished everything, feeling appreciated and with lots of nice presents. But still, it's strange to leave work knowing I won't be back for a very long time - it almost feels like forever. Since university I've always worked and usually combined working with other things - voluntary activities, studying - so I've been constantly busy for 7 years. Suddenly, all I have to do is rest and get ready to have a baby. We're nearly ready - there are a few bits and pieces to finish off and quite a lot of cleaning and tidying which we would benefit from doing. But mostly, nothing. And this baby could take another 5 weeks to appear! However, I am very tired, and struggling to sleep at the moment, so I think I'll appreciate all the rest I can get.</div><div><br /></div><div>We had a trip to the hospital for a labour day a few weeks ago which helped me to feel more ready to give birth. And yesterday we did the first part of our National Childbirth Trust antenatal classes - we met some really nice parents-to-be and it made us think about preparing for labour and what life will be like with a baby - it was a really useful day. I'm not sure I still quite believe that a baby is going to turn up very soon though!</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-82055716941634468952009-11-01T18:00:00.005+00:002009-11-01T18:13:48.694+00:00Her Fearful SymmetryI did promise I would tell you what I thought of <i>Her Fearful Symmetry</i>. Unfortunately, since finishing it I've been asleep most of the time. Yesterday, for example, I was in bed for all but 7 hours of the day. That's pregnancy for you.<div><br /></div><div>So. It wasn't <i>The Time Traveler's Wife</i>. And I don't love it as much as <i>The Time Traveler's Wife</i>. But then, how much did you like your best friend when you first met them? Or the person you're now married to? Maybe there was some sort of spark there, you found them more interesting than other people. But you probably didn't actually like them as much as you do now.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well, that's how much I like <i>Her Fearful Symmetry</i>. It is a good book. I read it constantly until I'd finished. And when I'd finished it, I wanted to go back and read it again straight away. Partly, admittedly, because it was a bit confusing and I wanted to work out exactly what was going on. But also because it's one of those books I want to read as fast as possible to find out what is happening, and then want to read again because I want to pay attention properly.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a ghost story. But it's not a scary ghost story. It's got some identical twins in it. It doesn't have the moments of unbearable tragedy found in <i>The Time Traveler's Wife</i> (where you cry when you realise what's going to happen and then cry again when it does) but it has a different sort of sadness. I'm looking forward to it coming out in paperback, when I will buy it and read it again.</div><div><br /></div><div>When not asleep, I've also read <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sparrow-Mary-Doria-Russell/dp/0552997773/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257098932&sr=1-1">The Sparrow</a> by Mary Doria Russell. It's Jesuits In Space. Seriously. You would have to be prepared to tolerate space travel and aliens in a novel to enjoy it. But it's beautiful and brutal. And has a <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Children-God-Mary-Doria-Russell/dp/0552776017/ref=pd_cp_b_1">sequel</a> which isn't quite as good. What more could you ask for from a novel?</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-53066200755133830692009-10-15T18:42:00.002+01:002009-10-15T18:59:08.551+01:00One hit wonders?'<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Her-Fearful-Symmetry-Audrey-Niffenegger/dp/0224085611/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255628645&sr=8-2">Her Fearful Symmetry</a>' by Audrey Niffenegger is sitting on my sofa waiting to be read. I am both afraid and anticipatory. Her previous novel, '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Travelers-Wife-Audrey-Niffenegger/dp/0099464462/ref=pd_cp_b_1">The Time Traveler's Wife</a>' is one of the most beautiful and devastating books I have read, with a unique approach to time travel which makes it seem almost natural. I have high hopes for her new book.<div><br /></div><div>However, I've found that when I read anything by the authors of some of my favourite novels, they're just not that good. '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Poisonwood-Bible-Barbara-Kingsolver/dp/057120175X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255628866&sr=1-1">The Poisonwood Bible</a>' is deeply engaging and takes you into another culture and unbelievable lives. '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bean-Trees-Barbara-Kingsolver/dp/034911417X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255628938&sr=1-5">The Bean Trees</a>', also by Barbara Kingsolver, is ok, but I wouldn't go further than that. '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Secret-History-Donna-Tartt/dp/0140167773/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255629022&sr=1-1">The Secret History</a>' is very clever and dark and involving, but '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Friend-Donna-Tartt/dp/0747573646/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255629082&sr=1-2">The Little Friend</a>' is just unpleasant. And '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Need-Talk-About-Kevin-Paperback/dp/1852424672/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255629141&sr=1-1">We need to talk about Kevin</a>' - well... To finally find someone who would admit the possibility that having children might not be everything it is cracked up to be, to have a believable and likeable character say that they weren't really sure they wanted children, but had one anyway, and it turned out they didn't really like it - it posed questions, it moved me, it challenged me. Whereas Lionel Shriver's other two novels which I have read - I don't like anyone in '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Double-Fault-Five-Star-Paperback/dp/1852424907/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255629268&sr=1-7">Double Fault</a>' and '<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Post-birthday-World-Lionel-Shriver/dp/0007245149/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255629316&sr=1-2">The Post-Birthday World</a>' just really isn't good.</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe it isn't fair to describe these authors as one-hit wonders just because I like one book so much more than the others. Maybe their other novels are actually not that bad, just not as good as the books I love. Maybe it's me - some books just struck a chord with me and I failed to connect with the others. But whatever, I'll let you know how I get on with my new book.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-28872307864414126992009-09-24T17:14:00.002+01:002009-09-24T18:08:58.733+01:00Why we should be oviparous1. It's hard to turn over in bed.<div>2. I think my pelvis has broken.</div><div>3. Everyone can see that you are pregnant. There's no privacy. Really.</div><div>4. It's a dense weight attached to your front which makes walking up slopes tiring.</div><div>5. It's not cute to have a baby kicking around inside you. It's just weird.</div><div>6. Indigestion and heartburn.</div><div>7. I don't fit in spaces I used to.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am happy to look after an egg and carry it round for 9 months. I'll get an incubator to put it in at work. We can take turns to look after it. I think eggs are the way forward. Now we just need the science to catch up.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-31748214013787671732009-09-21T20:35:00.002+01:002009-09-21T20:46:16.883+01:00Education for all?So the Confederation of British Industry think <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8263672.stm">students should pay more</a> to go to university and be lent the money at a more 'realistic' rate of interest? Ok, let's make it retrospective. Let's charge all those who benefited from free tuition and grants the money that was used to subsidise their education. Let's charge realistic interest, backdated to when they graduated. And let's compound it. And then we'll see how the CBI like it.<div><br /></div><div>I was one of the first students to be charged tuition fees. I missed out on getting a grant by taking a year out. This was possibly the most expensive year out ever as I left university with debts of around £12,000. I now pay this back at a rate of 9% of everything I earn over £15,000 pa. Once interest is taken into account, I pay about £500 off my loan each year, which means effectively I am paying a graduate tax, as I will pay my loan off roughly around the same time as my mortgage.</div><div><br /></div><div>I do feel that my generation of students have been pretty much screwed, as not only do we pay a lot for our education, we're also experiencing high house prices - unlike those people who experienced free university education and then benefited from huge growth in the equity in their property - which leaves very little money to save for pensions or anything else. I don't think this country is 'going to the dogs' or all the other things people seem to like to say - I just feel frustrated that the generation above us have benefited from free education and are now so keen to pull up the ladder.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-63701592465210294252009-08-29T11:31:00.003+01:002009-08-29T11:38:28.845+01:00Things I'm not sad to be missingThis is my second-worst August bank holiday for about 9 years. This is because I'm not at <a href="http://www.greenbelt.org.uk/">Greenbelt</a>, my favourite festival in all the world. Normally I steward, and I love it. This year I am not stewarding, due to being 5 months pregnant, which means I need to go to bed at a reasonable time and get tired after walking for about 10 minutes. This is not conducive to being part of a team who spend the hours between 7pm and 3am walking round Cheltenham racecourse.<div><br /></div><div>However, my worst August bank holiday was about 3 years ago, when I went to Greenbelt but didn't steward due to having a broken leg. I spent the weekend feeling miserable at missing out on the stewarding fun. I decided not to risk that this year. Instead I am staying at home, going to a wedding and watching ER. We might go and look at cots tomorrow. I feel like I've made the right choice but I do still feel sad and am missing my friends and stewarding. I'm already trying to work out how to manage to steward next year while having an 8-month-old baby.</div><div><br /></div><div>I am fortunate to be kept up-to-date with what is going on at Greenbelt by text message and <a href="http://spread-these-wings.blogspot.com/">Merlin's blog</a>. Which does remind me of some of the things I'm not missing - sweeping the campsite for intruders in the early hours of the morning being one of them! </div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-22769995412033488312009-08-18T22:02:00.003+01:002009-08-18T22:10:01.587+01:00A picture of Spoonface<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/SosXG4zdAII/AAAAAAAAACY/NfGuEgfXAbE/s1600-h/100_1081.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6EMaUUz1hO4/SosXG4zdAII/AAAAAAAAACY/NfGuEgfXAbE/s200/100_1081.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371412387664298114" /></a><br /><div>This is my baby at 21 weeks, which was pretty much 2 weeks ago. That's how up-to-date I am.</div><div><br /></div><div>Apart from the baby refusing to show its face, a crucial part of the scanning process, and then the fire alarm going off while I was walking around to try to make it change position, the scan was pretty uneventful. The baby looks healthy and the sonographer thinks it's a girl. While she won't say for sure, she didn't say it was hard to tell. So I'm guessing when it comes out it will be female.</div><div><br /></div><div>We're calling her Spoonface for now - Matt made it up and it seems to have stuck. We're hoping to come up with something better by the time she's born but I think we're not going to tell anyone. My sister can't quite believe we're not even going to tell her what we're thinking of calling the baby.</div><div><br /></div><div>Spoonface is getting bigger and is very kicky. There's just something wrong about being kicked by a small baby from the inside. It's reassuring that she's ok, but it just doesn't feel like it should be happening.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm starting to feel very excited about having a baby, and counting down the weeks until I can start maternity leave (13 1/2) - I am enjoying my new job (not so new any more!) but looking forward to not having to get up and try to be coherent five days in a row!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-88546501671267797442009-08-08T18:08:00.002+01:002009-08-08T18:14:02.510+01:00Rod Liddle is an idiotIt's been an interesting week for women in the news. Harriet Harman has been left in charge while Gordon Brown is on holiday and has shared a few thoughts about the current position of women in society and politics. This has been presented in the most sensationalist manner. 'Business and politics work better with both men and women in leadership' becomes 'Harriet Harman says men can't be left in charge'. Tanya Gold writes an <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/aug/08/harriet-harman-rod-liddle-spectator">interesting piece</a> on how the response to Harriet Harman is misogynistic.<div><br /></div><div>I'm not happy with the idea of quotas for women in leadership, as Harriet Harman has suggested. But I'm not really happy with all-male leadership either. I feel pleased to have a senior politician who is actively raising questions about the poor state of gender equality in Britain at the moment. Things are vastly improved and I'm grateful, but there's a long way to go. It's nice to hear someone actually talking about it.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-31460041849026661362009-07-18T20:39:00.003+01:002009-07-18T20:45:42.307+01:00Nursery puzzlesLife is full of questions I hadn't expected to need to answer. For example, what do you put in a nursery? We've moved the spare bed out of the spare room and into the attic, so that's a good start - there is now room for other furniture in there. Matt's going to do a bit of a paint job and we're getting Little Miss and Mr Men stickers to go on the wall, so it will look like a room for a baby.<div><br /></div><div>But then what? I guess we'll get a cot from somewhere. But I really have no idea what else to put in there. Baby stuff shops seems to sell changing tables, but it seems a bit of a waste of space when there's a perfectly good floor for changing on. And nursery furniture sets also seem to often come with a wardrobe, but I'm not really sure why you'd want a wardrobe for baby clothes. It's not like it's going to have full length dresses for a long time, if at all. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm tempted to leave it until the baby is actually here and we can work out what we need ("wouldn't it be useful to have somewhere to put all this [insert name of things which need storing]?" "yes, let's go and buy a [insert storage device]") but the impression I get is that you only have half an hour at any one time to do anything with a small baby. Not long enough to work out what it is we need, never mind find it, buy it and put it together.</div><div><br /></div><div>Planning for a baby is really quite puzzling.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-36655005717869355542009-07-12T21:19:00.002+01:002009-07-12T21:29:41.232+01:00Moving onDuring the first three months of being pregnant I was frustrated at not being able to blog about it, about everything I was thinking about and feeling and experiencing. You should probably all be very glad. So I expected to write a little more than I have done now that it's public knowledge.<div><br /></div><div>However...</div><div><br /></div><div>This baby was quite a surprise and it's been a huge adjustment. My future looks very different to what I was expecting. Some of it feels like quite a loss to me, although I know once the baby is actually here I will be so pleased and excited. But I don't really want the baby looking back at my blog in 10 years time and seeing lots of negative things. So far, the baby feels like more of an idea than a person and I know I will love the person.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've also been SO tired. It's hard to think of anything much to say. I go to work, I come home, I lie on the sofa, I go to bed. I can't really write about work (going well, a bit stressful at times) and there's really not much else going on. So not much to inspire me to write.</div><div><br /></div><div>And mostly I'm bored and miserable. I'm too tired to do much and I feel ill. This morning I was sick again - a less-than-welcome second-trimester development. Ok, I've only been sick three times - it's not major-league suffering. But everyone spends the whole of early pregnancy promising you amazing energy and wellbeing during your second trimester. I'm nearly halfway through my second trimester and the blooming is yet to start.</div><div><br /></div><div>However...</div><div><br /></div><div>Things are getting better. Overall, I do feel less ill. I've got a little bump. We heard the baby's heartbeat. We bought a pram (it's amazing how much difference a pram in the corner makes - apparently we really are going to have a baby). In another few weeks we'll have the 20 week scan and maybe find out whether it's a boy or a girl. Matt is starting work on the nursery. It feels like we're moving on.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-35920577332415242662009-06-10T19:44:00.002+01:002009-06-10T19:47:46.306+01:00Surprise?A lot of people have asked whether we intend to find out whether we are having a boy or girl at the next scan. I'm not sure whether I want to, but I've been given a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">lot</span> of advice! Some people say they found out and it helped them to bond, some people say it's a lovely surprise waiting until it's born. A lot of people are just too impatient or want to be able to buy blue or pink clothes.<div><br /></div><div>as you can imagine, I'm not a big advocate of pink for girls and blue for boys. But one thing I've noticed is that a lot of the people who think it helps with bonding are men, and a lot of the people who think it's nice to wait are women. Not exclusively, by a long way, but my unscientific research appears to show a trend. I wonder whether it's because women feel the have enough bonding carrying the baby around inside them and want a nice surprise as a reward for their labour?</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-41739018865042343232009-06-05T17:29:00.003+01:002009-06-05T17:35:43.612+01:00Surprise!I was looking forward to blogging about this but realised everyone pretty much who reads my blog and will care already knows.<div><br /></div><div>I am going to have a baby! On or around 17th December. I have a little bump to show for it. The past couple of months have been fairly horrible - getting over the shock, feeling sick, feeling tired, getting up to wee in the night - it is a relief to finally have told people, and to feel excited with people. And the second trimester is supposed to be a lot more fun!</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm hoping that the baby is born early-ish as I think the closer it is to Christmas, the less chance it has of anyone ever coming to its birthday parties apart from me.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's been really strange seeing how life changes. We planned to buy a new car and Matt wanted something a bit sporty. We found out we were pregnant and bought something with room in the boot for a pram. I have to think about prams. I have to drink lots of water and avoid eating shellfish. We have nappies in our spare room. I feel like I had an idea of what I wanted my life to be like, and it seemed to be working out, and now I'm heading into an unimaginable future.</div><div><br /></div><div>I know, when we get there and the baby comes out, it will be amazing, and everything will be fine and I will (mostly) be very happy (apart from day 4, apparently, when all new mums cry). But for now, I'm still a bit surprised.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-25079134102762985822009-05-30T11:51:00.002+01:002009-05-30T11:54:34.917+01:00A lovely weekendI am going to have a lovely weekend. Today I am going to go for a walk in the park in the sun (if Matt ever wakes up after a night shift) and do karaoke at <a href="http://www.tigertiger-manch.co.uk/luckyvoice/">Tiger Tiger</a>. Tomorrow I am going to see my sister and my nephew. And on Monday (which I'm counting as part of the weekend - after the bank holiday last weekend I'm starting to believe all weekends are three days long!) I'm off work as my best friend is back from Indonesia and we're spending the day in Manchester: shopping, buying books, drinking coffee.<div><br /></div><div>I wish you all a lovely weekend too!</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-72816689321072895982009-05-11T18:18:00.002+01:002009-05-11T18:21:21.797+01:00New kidI started my new job today. And I survived! I had a meeting to discuss what I need to do, which was useful. I met my new team, who seem nice. I made some lists of things to do and a list of people I need to see. I went out for a leaving lunch with my old team. I got my phone number transferred. I regretted getting my old number transferred when I ended up getting numerous phone calls from and about old tenants.<div><br /></div><div>So far, so good.</div><div><br /></div><div>In other news, I had a small bump in my car on Thursday. I was fine, it was less so. Maybe I'm just really not destined to drive!</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-61399149784715177522009-05-06T15:57:00.003+01:002009-05-06T16:02:18.433+01:00New starts and summer's coming!I finally have a start date for my new job. I'm starting on Monday. I was off work yesterday, working on uni stuff, and I'm in uni today. This gives me two days to tie up all the loose ends and make my desk tidy.<div><br /></div><div>I'm excited about starting my new job - I'm going to be responsible for moving tenants out of their accommodation into new accommodation. I'm really looking forward to having a job where I plan what I'm going to do and then, for the most part, do it, rather than just dealing with whatever the day throws at me. It's going to be challenging trying to keep people happy and facilitate the moves, but it's really good to do something new.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm also excited because I am hopeful that two weeks today I will have handed in all my university work and be free for the summer to do summery things, like go to the pub and actually go outside and see people. It is the end of my hermitage. Until next winter, when I'll crawl back into a dark cave and sleep for 6 months.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14775550.post-9423478627876992062009-04-20T18:20:00.003+01:002009-04-20T18:23:32.930+01:00The end is in sightI'm working on a presentation for uni which I need to hand in on Wednesday. I'm also supposed to have a first draft of some group work done for Wednesday. I have a research project to do for the middle of May and also a careers plan to hand in towards the end of May. It feels like so much work to do - I feel like I've been doing this for a very long time and I feel so tired. But just now, I feel like I might be able to do it - I might just manage to hand in all my work in a passable state, on time.<div><br /></div><div>That feels like achievement enough for me, just now.</div>Sarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05343891949433026930noreply@blogger.com2