Friday, April 21, 2006
But what's the point?
Here's my question: what's the point of being alive? It sounds morbid, I know, but it's one that a lot of people ask themselves. When I'm old, how can I look back at my life and feel I made good use of it? What should I do now to feel happy and satisfied, now and later? My MA isn't going well so it looks unlikely that I'm going to be a revolutionary academic and solve all of the world's problems. I have to find something else to do. What can I do that will match up to that sort of goal? And what makes you feel happy with your life?
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Dear Sarah
I'm just blog-browsing - linking from one to another as I wait for my husband to finish bathing the children so that I can put them to bed - and I'm delighted to say that I've happened upon your blog.
I'm interested in this post. During one of my "life crises" (which I had lots of in my 20s and have not had quite so many of in my 30s), when I was panicking slightly about whether I was getting the most out of life / happy enough / going anywhere / drifting, someone said to be: "Ruth, you are a human being, not a human doing", and that helped a bit. (blimey that was a long sentence - sorry - hope you're still with me!!) No-one gives you marks out of 100 for achievement in life.
I was reading about the successes and otherwise of peers' lives on "friends-reunited" recently and one chap who I studied with now lives in Thailand and edits a magazine. There was a time when I would have envied that (the travel, the excitement) but I don't now - the things that make me feel happy with my life are:
my children (I'm glad I waited till my 30s though)
Radio 4
karate (I attend a non-competitive and non-contact club and there's something rather spiritual about it)
Being a Sunday School teacher
Trying to be nice to people I don't know - like shop assistants.
I think that I am learning that it's the little things in life that bring me happiness, rather than the "big" where I live, what I do type things.
Soon you'll have your MA and that will be great (again no-one will know whether it went swimmingly or not and believe me no-one will care - you'll have it and that'll be all that matters). What can you do to match up to the goal of solving all the world's problems? I know one thing - and I really wish I'd understood this sooner than I did because it would have saved me one failed career path (in accountancy - not "me" at all) and one failed marriage: once you "know yourself" the rest follows. And, of course, that can be tricky!!
But you've probably sussed all that already anyway - I'm afraid that for a so-called intelligent woman, I've been rather a slow learner!!
I really look forward to reading your blog again
Best wishes
Ruth
Nothing makes me feel happy with my life. But the following things make life a lot more bearable:
- Friends, including you Sarah
- Cats
- Writing and words and creating things
- Laughing and dancing
- Getting lost in music, caught in a trap, etc
- Random good things happening like Ruth finding your blog
- Erm...
- ...I'm sure there are other things but I feel a bit headachey and I shouldn't really be on the web
- Going to sleep, which I'm going to do now.
Hello Ruth and welcome to my blog!
I'm pleased to hear that life crises might happen less in my 30s!
Eyan, you always make me feel better about the things I feel. And you make my life more bearable too.
I've decided to adopt a new policy to life. Rather than attempting to be the saviour of the world, I'm going to just try to make it better. Perhaps if I adopt this attitude, other people might too. And I think it would be more enjoyable - I'm not sure I project the idea that being a force for good in the world (didn't George W. say that?) can be pleasant.
At Sanctus1 we looked at Ecclesiastes, part of the Bible, a while ago, and I seem to remember that one of the things I got from it was the idea that part of the purpose of life is to enjoy life. I can't find the quote I thought I remembered. If I do I'll post it.
I know what you mean about 'what's the point'. I just got a mark back for an assignment I worked really hard on and I've only just passed it. I'm gutted. Just spent a little while crying and getting cross. Gutted.
That's so awful - that happened to me too. I'm really sorry.
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