Employee-ing

Greenbelt was a mixed experience. Some fits of rage at not being able to steward, a bit of self-pity at how hard it is to get across soil-based, rain-sodden ground and lots of getting wet. However, once I'd come to terms with the fact that this was not going to be my best Greenbelt ever, I mostly enjoyed it. Lots of hanging out with friends, seeing my stewarding team, I saw a spiritual director to discuss my faith-future. I got my plaster damp and now I have a new purple fibreglass one, I sat in the sunshine with my friends listening to good music at Greenbelt - bliss - and I realised what fantastic friends I have! Putting my tent up and down, taking me to hospital and just looking after me and helping me and walking me to my tent in the middle of the night in a downpour - you know who you are.

And now I've started my new job. Very tired! Two days of induction - meeting people and finding stuff out. It's almost overwhelming. I like the people and I think I'll like the job. Seems like a good company to work for. And while, on the one had, it's a bit rubbish not to be able to do my job straight away, being on crutches makes me memorable and is a good conversation-starter. And this seems to be a place where a football injury is quite respectable!

But I tell you what - full-time work seems quite unreasonable!

waiting

Just to let you know that we don't have internet access at the moment so I probably won't be posting (or checking emails) until after the Bank Holiday, when I come home from Greenbelt.

Not that I have much to write about anyway. I sit on my sofa and try to while away the time doing something... Having a broken ankle is not hte most fascinating way to spend a couple of months!!!

I'm looking forward to Greenbelt. Slightly nervous about camping while on crutches but I think my friends will look after me!

Ceasefire Campaign

This is taken from the Ceasefire Campaign website. I've signed it and I hope you will too. However, I'm aware that it's easy for the situation in Lebanon to become the latest media frenzy, forgetting Afghanistan and Iraq. The world feels like a messy place at the moment.

Right now a tragedy is unfolding in the Middle East. Thousands of innocent civilians have been killed or wounded in the bombings in Lebanon, Palestine and Israel and the death toll is rising every day. If the US, Syria or Iran get involved, there is a chance of a catastrophic larger war. UN Secretary General Kofi Annan has called for an immediate ceasefire and the deployment of international troops to the Israel-Lebanon border, and been strongly supported by almost every world leader. This is the best proposal yet to stop the violence, but the US, the UK, and Israel have refused to accept it. I have just signed a petition calling on US President Bush, UK Prime Minister Blair, and Israeli Prime Minister Olmert to support Kofi Annan's proposal. If millions of people join this call, and we advertise our views in newspapers in the US, UK, and Israel, we can help pressure these leaders to stop the fighting. Please go to Ceasefire Campaign and sign up now!

Wannadon't

It now looks like we're really moving house. The kitchen is packed into boxes and our boiler and fridge look really white now that all the fridge magnets are packed. Similarly, the lounge is full of boxes and the shelves are empty. The study is half-packed and the nasty wardrobes in the bedroom ar destroyed. Oh, and the bedroom is full of boxes as well. It's quite exciting thought the broken ankle is quite inconvenient. We're moving to rent a house in Ashton, but hoping to save money to buy a house in Glossop. And last night I dreamt about living in Glossop. So it feels like we're on the way.

Yesterday Matt and I rang up all the people you ring to tell you're moving (phone, electricity, water etc), which were all fine. Until we got to broadband. We're with Orange, formerly Wanadoo. I realise I am not aware of the complexities of setting up broadband, but is it reasonable to be made to wait 15 working days (yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's 3 weeks) to have broadband in your new house? I don't think so. Stuck at home, as I currently am, I do not intend to be cut off from email and other forms of online entertainment for 3 weeks. Any suggestions of a good ISP? We don't download much but we do use the internet a lot.

Over the moon!

I'm going to Greenbelt!!!

I haven't quite bought my ticket* but Matt and I have decided we can afford it, and Liz helped me to arrange some camping space in Disabled Groups camping, which is close to the festival village rather than a mile away (or something like that. It's a long way anyway) and my ankle is much better than it was, which gives me some hope that it will be ok enough by Greenbelt. And a kind friend is going to take my tent down early and put it up somewhere good.

I wish it were possible to tell you all how happy I am to be going. Greenbelt is my favourite thing all year and the place I feel most like me. Most people I know go and I see them all as I wander across the site. People have interesting discussions about things and there's tents and I get to sit in the sun and hang out with my friends. This year I won't get to indulge my passion for queue management but it will be interesting to see what it's like as a punter. In celebration, here is my favourite moon-related Weebl and Bob cartoon.

*Due to finance juggling, I am going to put it on my credit card and pay for it with my full-time-job-wages but I want to get it after the credit card statement for last month arrives. Or something.

I want one...

...of these.

I'm still dithering about Greenbelt. Maybe I could go. Just maybe...

Updating

A bit of an update:

1. I got the job! And not only that - I got the permanent job rather than one of the three temporary ones. So obviously they liked me! I'm very excited. I'm hoping to start after the Bank Holiday.

2. I went and had the backslab plaster taken off and my ankle re-x-rayed. Still broken. It's now in a full plaster which you can write on if you like and are in Manchester. No weight-bearing for four weeks, after which I go back and am x-rayed again and hopefully released from plaster.

3. This means no Greenbelt. My mum pointed out that it's likely to get kicked or trodden on. I wouldn't like this. Better safe than sorry, eh?

4. Today is my wedding anniversary. Matt and I have been married for 4 years. We're having slightly subdued celebrations due to my immobility...

More Sore Paw

My foot is getting more sore but I'm geting more used to it being in plaster, so it's swings and roundabouts. I'm juggling paracetamol and ibuprofen - I think geting the swelling down on my ankle would help me a lot.

The interview went well, I think. I seemed to get on well with the interviewers, I answered all their questions, I told them about all my skills, and I don't think I could have done much better without a plaster cast. I should find out towards the middle to end of the week so I'll let you know when I do. I hope i get it - I really liked the people and the place.

All in the timing

I went to play football last night, which I was very excited about. Unfortunately, while demonstrating my dribbling skills, I fell over the ball and hurt my ankle. After I went a bit pale and thought I was going to faint/be sick, an ambulance was called (no, not Matt, sadly, thought someone phoned him and he did come too). Three hours in casualty and a couple of x-rays later, it turned out that my career as a professional footballer would have to be put on hold - my ankle was broken. I emerged with cast and crutches and a couple of Matt's workmates gave me a lift to the car in their ambulance - yes, special treatment!

The good thing is that it doesn't hurt too much. The bad thing is that I have my interview on Friday, we're moving house in 3 weeks and I'm supposed to be going to Greenbelt to steward in about 5 weeks. This may not be possible. It's back to the hospital for a fracture clinic on Wednesday, where they'll take off the backslab and either put a fibreglass plaster on or stick it in a big bandage. Either way, I think I'll be immobile for a while..

Finding, doing, sorting

I found my mp3 player - it had slipped inside a pocket of my bag whch I don't ever use. And I decided I don't even want to graduate anyway. I saw some people watching graduation on a screen in the cafeteria and - I'd forgotten how boring it is. Maybe I'll just pick up my certificate and we can all meet in the pub for a drink to celebrate. So all the bad things from last week are not so bad.

Today I am doing many good things. I've tidied the lounge and kitchen and cleaned the bathroom. I'm packing up tetrapaks we've saved to post off to be recycled. I'm gearing up for moving house as well by making lists and returning things we've borrowed. If you lend me somehing, I promise you will always get it back. But possibly not until we move house...

More good things!

1. I have a job interview! It's for New Charter Housing Trust, to be a Neighbourhood Management Assistant. I'm very excited - apart from the fact that I would really like a job, the company looks really good and the job involves helping people - solving problems, dealing with complaints, finding ways to make people happy, which I find very satisfying.
2. As an added bonus, the job is in Ashton-under-Lyne, where we are hopefully moving to at the end of the month. This will be very convenient (walking to work? What a novel idea!) if I get the job. As long as everything works out, we're going to rent a friend's house. The house is beautiful and as Ashton is on the edge of Greater Manchester, it's near fields and trees, which will fill my heart with joy.
3. I saw my uni friends at the weekend and had an amazing time. It was great to catch up and to spend some time with Gillian's baby, Joel. He's 14 months old and is a really lovely, gorgeous baby. He's just so cute! I had so much fun with my friends.

There are some bad things too: someone has stolen my mp3 player from my bag, so I can't listen to my music on the bus, and apparently I don't get to graduate for having a postgraduate certificate. Now, I think I've worked hard enough over the past year to deserve to get clapped by lots of people while wearing flappy black robes (and Matt couldn't get off work to ocme to my undergrad graduation, so I'd like him to come to this one) so I'm going to try to be allowed. However, some friends have said that if I can't, they'll come to Student Services when I go to collect my certificate and will clap. And then we can all go to the pub to celebrate. Perhaps I'll even throw a hat in the air.

I love you. I really do. I love you allllllll...

Sometimes my life feels a bit rubbish. But I've just been to Sanctus and I feel happy. There's something about sitting outside a pub cheering a man on a hydraulic platform (what were you doing, man? Cleaning windows? Stealing? Street theatre? We don't know) with friends which just makes life better. You people... you make me laugh, you make me feel special, you laugh at my jokes and you let me tell pointless and meandering stories badly.

Honestly, I'm gushing. I'm not saying anything I want to say and I'm not even saying things I don't want to say with any kind of finesse or style. But I just feel pleased to have friends I like and who seem to like me too. I want to run up to them and throw my arms around them and thank them for being my friends, for being amazing, for... I don't know what. However, I think that might frighten them.

So I think it's better that I just go to bed now. Goodnight.

four things I'd like to tell you

A good few days...

1. Cheesy dancing at Aqua. It's a bit of a dive but friendly. Added excitement when the night finished very suddenly at 1.30 due to a drugs raid.

2. A barbecue. The weather mostly held and lots of people came. I feel very special having so many people coming to celebrate my birthday.

3. Yesterday, my actual birthday, was a bit lame. I've developed an unpleasant cough/cold/sore throat/headache, so I was a bit too tired. I'm liking the feel of 27 so far though.

4. Results! I got 64% for the module I've done this term and 72% for the year-long module. So that makes my average something like 65%. Hopefully I should get a merit for the year and also about £500 back in tuition fees. And a sense of achievement - I think I've made the right decision in not doing any more studying, but now I also feel like a success.

Hurrah for me. cough cough.

Cheese-a-rama

I am tired because I got up at 6.15 this morning to go to Chester for a meeting. As it took 3 hours travel each way for one meeting I'm not sure how efficient it was. While I support the idea of public transport (and not just because I can't drive...) it doesn't feel very feasible for work. Tomorrow I'm going to Huddersfield and Leeds and will be out of the house for 12 hours - I have a couple of hours empty time in the middle) and on Friday I have to go to a conference in Ormskirk, for which I will be getting up at about 6.00 and be out of the house for 9 hours or so.

However, nothing can dampen my enthusiasm! This weekend it is my birthday and I will be 27! I'm very excited about this as I like odd numbers. 26 has not had much to recommend it so I'm happy to move on. To celebrate I am going out dancing on Friday night - we're meeting at the Knott Bar at 8 and then going somewhere to dance to cheesy music. Then on Saturday we are having a barbecue and I intend to have a big cake as well, to celebrate my birthday and finishing studying. Matt is going to make it for me. One year he made me a surprise birthday cake and I was very happy. This one is unsurprising but I hope will be equally pleasing.

If you would like to come post your email address and I'll send directions.

Any ideas for where we can find 80s cheese in Manchester?

Is it so much to ask that someone gives me a job?

I have been turned down for another job this week and it's getting a bit depressing - apart from anything else, there are other things I'd like to do on a Friday evening than write supporting statements for application forms.

I know that I am very talented and, if I was given a good job I could do it very well and be happy. After all, I'm a master of strategy, I have excellent communication skills, I'm enthusiastic and I'm funny. So why wouldn't anyone want me?

1. If your office was full of spiders you might get a bit tired of me being scared of them.
2. You might not be intereted in what I think about gender, how the economy would be better if everyone worked less and gardened more, or why people profiting from investing in property is unhelpful.
3. You might like having a big car and driving it around a lot.
4. You might not want to find me talking every time you come in the office (but honestly, it's a coincidence...)
5. You might just be really stupid.

Ok, I'm done. Back to the applications.

Must lose weight

Am spurred to lose weight and develop a very flat stomach. Have just been asked by a colleague if I'm pregnant.

No, just fat.

Tired and emotional

but not in the Greenbelt sense...

I am very tired - it's been a difficult week for various reasons (yes, I choose to take holiday from work to concide with life being rubbish) and I haven't slept very well due to the heat. So I am very tired and not looking forward to getting back to work on Tuesday.

I'm feeling a little disillusioned about finding a new job at the moment - I've applied for a few admin/events management jobs and have either not heard anything or been turned down (again this morning). A lot of jobs I'm interested in have asked for a full UK driving license, which is problematic beacuse I can't afford to learn until I get a full-time job, but can't get a full-time job I want without a driving license. Also, I don't really want to be a one-car family, never mind two cars.

I went to a careers fair on Wednesday which was helpful. I'm considering a career in social housing and spoke to a few different organisations. I think I'd like to work for a housing association, starting in a customer-facing role then working towards a career in regeneration. Lack of housing experience is not an insurmountable problem but my research suggests that I will, in the not-too-distant future, need to return to study to get professional qualifications. I bet you can imagine my joy at the thought of that!

I believe...

I have been having some 'issues' with faith over the past couple of years. As in I've stopped believing God exists.

I did this quiz and came out as a humanist. A few days later I got a free copy of New Humanist magazine through the post. So I thought maybe it was a sign that I should be a humanist. Then I realised that if I was one I wouldn't believe in signs. Back to where I started.

I was looking forward to being a humanist as well.

Must learn from my mistakes

Went away with Sanctus1 this weekend. It was a brilliant weekend - some interesting discussions around parables and lots of spending time with my friends, plus Lucy and I risking our lives trying to get to the sea, only to find it was brown and horrible and full of jellyfish. Myn, Rob abd Richard came up with a fantastic treasure hunt in which teams had to take photos of a variety of things. Very funny. We didn't win but I bet we had the most fun.

Last year I drank too much and had to be carried to bed pretty much unconcious. Which made me appreciate me friends. This year I planned not to do that but unfortunately surpassed myself, not only having to be carried to bed but also being violently sick all over the bathroom door and falling asleep with my head in the toilet bowl. I feel very privileged to have friends who take care of me after I do that, clean up vile-smelling sick, put up with me telling them how much I love them or, alternatively, that they're shit (sorry Stephen. I really didn't mean it), and not seeming to mind too much or judging me for it - even finding it funny, I think. Lev, Lucy, Eyan, Tony, Janet, thank you. I'm glad I have friends I feel safe with and trust to look after me.

Here's what I've learnt. Once I get to a certain point, my good intentions about not getting drunk go out of the window and I proceed to drink as much as I can until I fall off the sofa. So next year I have to decide how much I'm going to drink and stick to it, get my friends to help me, drink slowly and not just alcohol, and above all, not get to the point where I drink recklessly. Yesterday I had a monster hangover and today I still feel wretched. I think my liver is angry with me.

What's that? Ooh, it looks like the end!

Yes, the end is in sight. In two weeks' time I shall be on holiday, (no, not going anywhere, just at home) lying in bed and enjooying being free. I have a first draft of the monster essay. Last night I dreamt I got 65% for it. I think this was not prophetic as it is quite embarrassingly bad. And everyone says "but I'm sure it's not as bad as you think." Honestly, I'm not one of those people. It really is bad. It's about imperialism and doesn't discuss what imperialism is. It's not 6200 words so I need to get rid of approximately 2700 of them. That's my job for next week.

This week I'm finishing my dissertation proposal. This is about the right word length but needs some critical thinking put into it. Could be tricky.

And this could really be the end, folks. When writing my essay last week I realised I wasn't enjoying it and hadn't enjoyed anything I'd done all year. So why, if I don't enjoy doing research and analysis, do an MA just to get a research and analysis job? All the jobs I've ever done, I've enjoyed organising things. So now I'm looking into whether I can get a postgraduate certificate for the work I've done so far and then launch myself into the world of careers. I'm thinking along the lines of events management or operations - something practical.

And then I can have my life back, see my friends, get more involved in the Green Party and Friends of the Earth, more involved with Sanctus and see Matt occasionally. I think I can contribute more by doing a supporting role in an organisation which is doing the sort of things I'm interested in than making myself unhappy trying to come up with a New Plan For Humanity which will have serious theoretical flaws badly hidden in it.