Moving on?

I'm considering applying for a new job.

I love my job. I work with lots of people I really like. I like the company I work for. I can walk to work from my house. The job I am thinking of applying for is about 35 miles of vile commuting away. What am I thinking of???

Well, I'm happiest doing my job when the person I work with is away and I'm in charge. I really want my own area of houses to manage. And the trouble is that my company is pretty stagnant. You have to wait for someone to get pregnant to get a promotion. There's nowhere for anyone to go and no-one want to leave because it's such a good place to work. And there are so many people who are more experienced than me doing the same job as me. So I could have quite a wait.

It also pays about £7,000 a year more. This is an attraction, I will admit. I think that for what I'm expected to do (inspect fences, advise on welfare benefits, decide whether trees are dangerous, resolve neighbour disputes, understand and apply a myriad of policies and procedures, explain tenancy agreements) I am pretty badly paid - I could get the same money doing an admin job in a university.

Like I said, I love my job - pretty much everything about it. But I am ambitious and I want to do bigger things and have more responsibility. Do you think six months is a bit too early to think about moving on?

Things I have learnt by driving

1. I have realised that the world is scuppered. Really, no-one is going to give up their car. Really. Car=freedom. I can go anywhere and, by extension, do anything.
2. Join Fat Roland's's F1 Losers League now. Put together the worst ever Formula 1 team and you could win some money. And, more to the point, the respect of the motoring world. Yes, even Jeremy Clarkson. I won last year. Science has not yet explained how.
3. I drove to Sheffield this weekend, there over the Woodhead Pass and back over he Snake Pass. Neither were as scary as getting lost in Sheffield's steep, narrow, crowded back streets. I now have an A-Z of Sheffield.
4. Some people are -insert choice expletive-. Today, I was driving home. I got to a narrow bridge where I have to give way to oncoming traffic. I thought I'd seen someone coming so waited. No-one appeared so I started going over the hill. Mr Dickhead starts speeding over the bridge towards me. I stop and start getting ready to reverse. He starts flashing his headlights at me and then, when I don't move quickly enough for him, starts giving me the 'wanker' hand signal. Instead of turning my engine off, getting out and punching him, I reversed out of his way. Next time he might not be so lucky.
5. Driving makes me swear more.

Guess what?

I passed! I set the car alarm off when getting into the car, and had no idea how to turn it off. And I did a three-point turn, reverse round a corner and stall at a roundabout. I amassed 6 faults, which I'm impressed by - the average is 10 and the fail mark is 16. So I'm really pleased with myself. And now I have to go and drive by myself... I am a legal driver!

D-day

I have my driving test tomorrow at 13.03. I have been feeling a bit stressed and irritable for the past week (poor Matt) but not too worried. TodayI've been developing butterflies in my stomach. I know I'm a good enough driver to pass my test and I know I can do my manoeuvres. The question is whether I will pull it off tomorrow.

I appear to have told everyone I know about doing my test and the support has been really nice. And I'm not really bothered about failing - hey, I'm 27, I've failed things before and I've passed things before. It's not that big a deal.

I just can't be arsed with having to take more lessons, rebook my test and try again. I want to pass so it's done, I can drive and can have my Saturdays back.

I'll keep you posted

I'm not dead

You'd be forgiven for thinking that I might be though, given the length of time I've been in the 6th level of hell on this blog... It's a combination of being too tired to think of anything to say and feeling too boring to have anything worth saying. Which is a bit sad.

I have been busy. Work has been incredibly tiring and stressful. The aftermath of having problems with a colleague is a not-so-happy working relationship but nothing I can do anything about except persevere and keep my head down.

Soundcheck (too tired to link to www.speak.org.uk) is next weekend. I'm organising the stewarding and it should be much easier than previous years (just one venue - all my Sundays come at once!) but I'm so unprepared!

I have my driving test on 7th March. I'm good enough to pass, but it all comes down to how I do on the day itself. It's not so much of a big deal -I'm not 17 and I've passed things before and I've failed things before, but it would be nice not to have lessons any more! I drove to Rotherham over the Woodhead Pass in the daylight (got stuck behind a slow van pulling another van, so not so much speediness) and in the dark (terrifying!) and did well and then did a hideous stall in the middle of a junction just before the bottom of my street.

And quite a few nights out drinking, which were fun...

That's all...

Oh dear...

Looks like it's all going to be bad for me...

the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Oh well. Work's a bit hellish at the moment, so I should be used to it by then...

Life is good...

... and here's why

1. E.R. is back. They have changed the theme music, which is, quite frankly, unacceptable, and I'm regretting missing the last season due to lack of tv licence. Really regretting it. But it makes me happy to watch it. A little bit of trauma is a good thing.
2. I'm watching the O.C. again. I'm catching up on all of last year's season and trying to avoid trailers for the current season. A little teenage angst is a good thing, and no-one does teenage angst as classily as the O.C.
3. We've moved to Smile. Ethical banking online. I can log onto my account whenever I want and pretend I might need to do something. I love being in charge of our money as well. Also, they gave me a credit card with a limit which would provide the deposit for a small house. And then a second card with an identical limit. I could buy half a studio flat in Newton Heath on my credit cards.
4. One day soon we will be homeowners. We've rearranged our banking in order to facilitate saving up to buy a house. I am now desperate to buy a house, and it's good to feel like we're moving closer to that.
5. I have been in charge at work for the past couple of weeks. It's been challenging learning to work with a new person at work. With my previous person we both did everything and chaotically somehow managed. It was a lot of fun. The person I work with now has defined and hierarchical ideas of who does what. But they've been off work on holiday and then ill. I really love being in charge and getting on with doing my own thing. It's made me realise how much I love my job. I desperately want to be promoted and have my own patch.
6. My tenants love me. One of my tenants, anyway. I solved a problem and she went into the shop to thank me and now it will go in the internal company newsletter. I feel stupidly happy.

I started blogging thinking I would write about the solutions I've discovered for the world's problems. Now I find myself blogging about how much I love watching tv. Life doesn't turn out the way I expect all the time. But I am happy and that's important.

Music from the crunchie advert

I'm so excited...

about 2007. Waving goodbye to 2006, it was definitely a game of two halves. Half one (January to July - a special sort of half) involved hating my MA, ditching my MA and desperately trying to come up with a new career, wanting to move house and breaking my leg. Half two involved getting a new job which I have mostly loved, moving into a spectacularly beautiful house (without being able to do any of the work), buying gerbils and beginning to learn to drive. Half two was slightly tarnished by being unable to walk very well for a large part of it, but even I know I can't have everything.

2007 should be a bit more peaceful apart from taking my driving test, hopefully buying a house and my best friend moving to Indonesia. I'm feeling quite enthusiastic about most things at the moment (apart from getting up three hours earlier than any day for the past 10 days to return to work this morning) so at least the year has started well...

Five things...

I am very excited about being tagged by Fat Roland - it makes me feel very important. Thinking of five things which people are unlikely to know about me but likely to want to know is a bit difficult but I'll give it a go...

1. Marmite may have saved my life: I did a gap year in Uganda in 1997-98 and was not very happy or very well. I had malaria twice and dysentry for the best part of 10 months and screaming nightmares most nights. We spent three months living in little villages in north Uganda where people don't always wear clothes. But I was quite ill - I spent a lot of the time lying on my 'bed' except for when I had to crawl to the pit latrine. So they sent me back to civilisation where I felt ill and didn't want to eat anything but Marmite on toast. An expat very kindly made the necessary sacrifices and voila, I am still alive.

2. I haven't played original Monopoly for 5 or 6 years: I realised that I was too competetive and only nejoyed playing if I was winning and even then felt very tense because I might stop winning, so it was no fun for me or for anyone else. I made a New Year's resolution not to play any more and am much happier. I have played Muppet monopoly and I believe I might even have won - but if you aren't fighting for Mayfair and Park Lane, it just isn't the same...

3. I have recently learnt to enjoy shopping: I used to hate it but now, finally, we have enough money that it doesn't have to be the perfect jumper, beacuse I can buy another one if I want to. And it's not a choice between clothes and food any more so I don't feel guilty. I still hate the crowds but the decision-making is much less stressful.

4. I don't like buttons. I don't know why. But I don't like clothes with them on, I don't like seeing them on other people's clothes and I don't like reading or saying the word. I do have two shirts which have them on, which I'm not particularly happy about, but I won't buy anything which has decorative ones or fancy or oversized ones. I also don't buy cardigans or big winter coats due to nearly always having them on. I don't remember anything traumatic in my childhood which could cause this dislike. It's just a bit weird.

5. I passed my driving theory test yesterday so am now theoretically safe to drive. Next week - three point turns!

So, I tag Rexor, Tony, Jolan, Em and Sheepy. Go go go!

Edit: I changed no. 4 from something about my family to something a bit more interesting.

Feeling less than human...

There are some things which irritate me about blogs.

1. Being asked to prove I'm human by trying to decipher illegible, slanty words in a wiggly blurry font. Ben's blog puts it like this:

"Not a spammer? You can post your comment by proving that you're a human below."

I know spam is bad. I've had spam on my blog. I just can't always tell the difference between the letters...

2. People referring to other people by just their initial. Again, I know there are good reasons for this. And I have been picked up on my blog before for using people's names when they'd rather I didn't. But names are nice. And if I know who you are, and I know who you're referring to, I would like it if you used their whole name.

What do you mean, you don't actually blog entirely for my benefit? How does that work, eh?

Maybe I'm just a bit irritable today.

Is blogging about bloggin a bit like reading the media supplement in the Guardian?

Baby, it's cold outside

We have bought a big new fridge with a whole freezer compartment, to use rather than the under-the-counter fridge with icebox we've used up til now. This is much better but not as wildly exciting as I had imagined it would be. Maybe I'm just not one of life's natural consumers.

Because of this (the new fridge, not the state of being a consumer - or not) I cleaned out the old one. I really like doing this every once in a while. Not as much as having a lie in, for example, but it involved spilling water across the whole floor and putting bowls of hot water in the freezer to defrost it. It's just a bit messy.

I have another driving lesson tomorrow and my theory test next Friday. I'm fairly confident as I can answer most of the questions i the book of questions and one of the ones I can't usually answer is about towing caravans, which doesn't feel like vital knowledge to non-caravan-towing me. Last week I did driving in the dark at rush hour and, as I survived (despite the best effort of driver-turning-right-in-front-of-me-without-indicating), I feel quite competent and it did push me, so it was quite good. Think I'll be doing roundabouts tomorrow.

Also tomorrow is Sanctus's Christmas Ceilidh which I have helped to organise. I have a lovely new skirt for this (there's some words my mother probably would never have expected to hear from me when I was growing up) but I'm not expecting to do too much dancing. After a wedding and a christmas do involving dancing, both with ankle-pain afterwards, I think I'll be semi-sensible.

Blogger are offering a new Beta Blogger system. Doesn't look too different except you sign in with a googlemail address (which I have) and can have a private blog. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Here ends the world's longest blog post ever...

Well, it IS Christmas

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Always wrapping paper. I love wrapping presents! Sometimes more successfully than others, but I really enjoy doing it.

2. Real tree or artificial? I love real Christmas trees. The smell is the thing. When I was younger I used to make my Mum buy ones which were quite clearly too big for the living room. Sadly, Matt isn't game for cutting the top off the tree. So we just get one that fits.

3. When do you put up the tree? Once it's December and we have an opportunity to get one.

4. When do you take the tree down? As late as I can get away with. Preferable before it's really dead.

5. Do you like eggnog? No. My favourite Christmas drink is spiced hot apple juice. It's apple juice with cloves and cinnamon in, heated up. I'm always happy to drink vodka and coke as well...

6. Do you have a nativity scene? No.

7. Mail or email Christmas cards? Post every time. I have actually written all of them. They're waiting for Matt to sign them so they can be posted next weekend. Last year we left it so late that they probably arrived after Christmas, if at all. Sorry about that!

8. Favorite Christmas Movie? I used to love Digby the Biggest Dog in the World. But they don't show it any more. I always cry at ET too. Not really Christmassy but I do like them.

9. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate. Especially Christmas tree chocolates earlier than Christmas Day because we were never allowed to at home.

10. Clear lights or coloured on the tree? Clear

11. Favorite Christmas song? I don't really have one.

12. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I like having Christmas at home. This year most of my family are coming for Christmas Day and I'm excited/nervous. Matt was asked to swap his Christmas night shift for someone else's Christmas Eve shift so I am very happy to have my husband at home for the whole of Christmas day. Though he'll be asleep in the morning.

13. Angel on the tree top or a star? We don't actually have either but I'd like a star.

14. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Opening stockings on Christmas morning and then the rest of the presents after lunch.

15. Most annoying thing about this time of year? It's so cold and dark...

16. Favourite for Christmas dinner? Turkey is traditional. One year I helped at a lunch for lonely old people and had my Christmas dinner later than everyone else, and I had a turkey sandwich, which I liked very much. Christmassy without the fuss.

Thanks to Mary Beth for this...

Christmas doings

Last night was the work Christmas do, which I was really quite nervous about. I've never been to proper one before due to not having worked anywhere that had them. It was a nearly entirely enjoyable evening - a couple of people snogging people who weren't the people they were going out with and a few of those 'who can I find to talk to so I don't look like I have no friends?' moments. It was my first time in footwear other than steal-toe-capped safety boots since my leg came out of plaster, which was brilliant but now launches me back into the world of havig to make decisions about shoes. I danced a lot and re-discovered that I just can't dance with other people. It involves too much co-ordination and working out what the other person is goig to do and what they expect you to do. But I had a lot of fun dancing with people anyway. And I only fell over once.

Managed to resist the pressure to drink too much ("I have a driving lesson tomorrow") and go out in Staly Vega afterwards ("I have a drinving lesson tomorrow") and it was very nice to come home to my lovely husband and my nice warm bed.

Man-flu crosses gender boundaries

I am ill.

I really am.

But probably not as ill as I think I feel.

I have a cold. I feel rubbish. My throat hurts. I feel quite pathetic and self-pitying. I have spent most of the weekend lying on the sofa telling Matt that I think I'm going to die.

This is man-flu. I am not a man.

Flash! A-aah!

A few weeks ago we looked after **i* and R***'s gerbils while they were in Canadia. They wre pretty annoying - they'd always make scrabbling noises in the corner of their tank while we were trying to watch tv - and it's pretty disconcerting to hear funny noises in the house when you know you're the only peron in it.

But once they'd gone, we missed them. And they were pretty cute. So on Monday we went out and bought some gerbils of our own. Matt's is black and is called Scamp. Mine is black and white and is called Flash. And is quite clearly much cuter.

Sadly, however, they do not seem to like us very much. They hide in their play tunnel and only come out when we're not looking. This makes me quite sad. I hope eventually they get used to us and want to be friends with us...

Driving in my car

When I was 17 I had driving lessons for about 9 months, which seemed to be largely successful. On my instructor's suggestion I put in for my test. Then he retired on medical grounds and I tried two other driving instructors who said that there was no way I was taking the test in their car because I was too dangerous.

I had about 6 lessons in my second year of uni but did't get any further than that.

Yesterday I had my first driving lesson for my third attempt - hopefully this time I will get to taking a test! I would like to be able to drivie so that I can get promoted at work, contribute to the annual drive to Skye with Matt and Hil and argue with Matt about who gets to drink.

It was a bit scary trying to do things like get out of junctions. I had a hairy moment when I realised the road wasn't going where I expected it to, turned, turned back, panicked and stopped in the middle of a junction. But mostly I think I did quite well. Lots to work on, but I think that for a first go, I did pretty well.

Meatloaf and happiness

I have just added a few more albums to my mp3 player and now it is full! I bought two cds last week - Crazy Itch Radio by Basement Jaxx, because I really like 'take me back to your house' and I knew that if I didn't really like the rest of it Matt would - and The Best of Meatloaf. I don't have a senes of shame, exactly, about buying a Meatload CD but I am aware that it's not necessarily quality music. It's quite sentimental and his gender politics aren't always spot on but it takes me back to being 14. My best friend's mum was a hippy and we used to listen to Meatloaf and the Eagles and I was occasionally happy.

Unlike now, when I radiate unspeakable amounts of happiness to the point where people can't bear to ask me how I am. Well, nearly. But I think that I'm only ever really into one thing at a time and currently it's my job. I do like coming home and seeing Matt but I spend a lot of the evening thinking about my tenants and how to make them happier. I don't want to turn into someone who has no life outside work. But there's so much to get my teeth into and I think I can have a real positive impact on my tenants' lives - I just find it really exciting.

Dinner a deux

Matt and I went out for dinner tonight. It was really lovely - we discovered an Italian restaurant a few hundred metres from our house, where we ate too much. We haven't been out just us really since I broke my leg - to tiring/complicated/painful/busy moving house/whoops ran out of money etc. And do you know what, I think we should do it again.

Work is still busy. Andy, who I currently work with, is ending his secondment early. This has big implications for me. I love working with Andy as it's a lot of fun and I'm learning a lot. Currently I have no idea where they're going to get a replacement from or when or whether I will like them much. Andy is very good at encouraging me to do loads of things and get good experience, so I hope whoever replaces him also does that. I have been promised that he will be replaced - I hope there isn't a big gap.

Have been upsetting some tenants and meeting some less-than-pleasing tenants. Being effective at getting things done and apologising to tenants for the things which should be done but aren't. Discovering that until you have to actually find solutions to anti-social behaviour problems you have very little idea how difficult they are to resolve. I still like it but in a less shiny way.

IKEA offeres hotdog reassurance

Ashton-under-Lyne, in Tameside, was plunged into disarray today after hundreds of residents and workers got up up to 3 hours early to beat 'chaotic' traffic anticipated with the opening of the new IKEA. However, they were shocked when this additional traffic did not materialise. Reports suggest that this is due to IKEA offering no free sofas for people to fight over.

Once police officer, who preferred to remain anonymous, complained, “I feel cheated. We were promised chaos, but I spent all day watching empty, coned-off traffic lanes and feeling stupid.”

Reports confirm that IKEA Ashton is still offering the world-famous 'IKEA hotdog'. At 50 pence, however, it is more expensive that almost half of IKEA's stock.

Things I like, things I don't like

I've been left alone at work - Andy, my Neighbourhood Management Officer, is off for nearly two weeks. Today, the first day, I turn up to work to discover a tenant has set her kitchen on fire. My suspicion is that Andy did it just to make life more challenging.

I also have a child protection conference to attend on Tuesday. This is the only thing in my job which I haven't enjoyed. Some bits are not very exciting, some even border on dull (copy this information onto this form - why, that sounds delightful) but most of it I like.

I'm finding antisocial behaviour (ASB) work very interesting. Aside from the opportunity to nose into people's lives - it's legitimised gossip - I'm really interested in how we as a housing association deal with ASB and how it should be dealt with from a societal point of view.

We're different from a lot of agencies - social workers, family support, drug and alcohol abuse workers - in that we look at people on a societal level. While a lot of agencies seem to focus on the family and support and understnd their behaviour, we look at how their behaviour affects the wider community. This appears to produce some tensions.

This has made me think again about the Declaration of Children's Rights. This states, among other things, that adults should always do what is best for children. I have a real issue with this. It's not always possible or desirable to protect a child's best interests. For example, one tenant makes other people's lives a nightmare, making them keep their children indoors all the time. This tenant has children and, while evicting them would not be in their best interests, in might be in the best interests of other children and other (non-child) tenants. I think children should be protected and cared for by society, but not necessarily prioritised all the time.

Today a large spider fell from the ceiling onto my leg. This resulted in high-pitched screaming and spidercide. Spider-season is upon us and I am not happy.