Ashton-under-Lyne, in Tameside, was plunged into disarray today after hundreds of residents and workers got up up to 3 hours early to beat 'chaotic' traffic anticipated with the opening of the new IKEA. However, they were shocked when this additional traffic did not materialise. Reports suggest that this is due to IKEA offering no free sofas for people to fight over.
Once police officer, who preferred to remain anonymous, complained, “I feel cheated. We were promised chaos, but I spent all day watching empty, coned-off traffic lanes and feeling stupid.”
Reports confirm that IKEA Ashton is still offering the world-famous 'IKEA hotdog'. At 50 pence, however, it is more expensive that almost half of IKEA's stock.
4 comments:
Reckon everyone decided they'd wait until the weekend, so as to miss the crowds, and it'll all kick off on Saturday?
sounds exciting, i'm coming to see you tomorrow!
Ah yes, jo. You might want to think carefully about the direction you come from. Probably come via Glossop if I were you - certainly not via the M60 - though I don't really see why you would.
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