I went to visit some friends of mine and they asked about things like my mother-in-law's wedding (in November) - I realised I hadn't seen them since October*.
I saw this** and laughed a lot, and it felt rather nice to be laughing and feeling endorphin-y, and it was a bit sobering to realise that I clearly don't laugh enough.
I realised: my life is shit.
Again, this isn't technically true. But I eat, sleep, work and study. This isn't a life. So I've decided. If I'm not good enough at studying to do well enough and see my friends and have fun, I'll just have to not be good enough. It's not the end of a career, just the curtailage of a particular career path.
So, I have a plan:
- When I'm working, work hard. My time is valuable.
- See my friends. Accept invitations. Arrange to see people. Have fun.
- Find a new job. My ideal would be to get a Neighbourhood Management Officer job and do that for a few years and then move into strategy, research or policy. But, if no NMO jobs come up soon, I'll look for something else, somewhere else. I'm not feeling challenged enough and I need more responsibility. I like it where I work and I'd like to keep working there. But not doing this.
So. I went to Sanctus on Wednesday and saw people, and it was interesting. I met up with a friend for coffee and we talked about SPEAK stuff. And I'm starting planning the stewarding for a speak event in May. It involves a comedy night on the Sunday. Subject to not getting knackered organising stewarding, I'm going to restart my comedy by putting a short routine together. I'm excited because I love doing it.
I have decided. My life will be better.
I was going to blog about evolution and where the world comes from. Maybe next time...
*This turns out to be untrue. I saw them at a Christmas dinner.
4 comments:
Recently got a bit of a b*****king because it would appear I haven't seen my parents-in-law for over a year. Working hard has its advantages - oh I am so going down for that. But yes, having a life is important, otherwise one day you wake up and realise you missed the fun. Finding the balance is hard, and gets harder I think. So I wish you the best and may you succeed where many fail.
PS thank you for saying my blog is thought-provoking, always happy to get a plug.
loved the eddie izzard sketch!
i agree its hard to find the happy balance in life, i just try to enjoy myself at work as much as i do when i'm not there.
the down side to this, my jokes and (lack of) sense of humour is as infamous there as it is everywhere else!
I do enjoy myself at work, apart from the times I'm bored/angry/irritated by someone I sit near. It's the studying which has got a bit out of control.
I think it'll probably be a year before I see my mother-in-law. But she's moved to the Isle of Skye.
Went to see the neurologist today. He said it sounded like a syncope (loss of cociousness/faint) apart from the 10 minutes or so of post-ictal confusion. So I'm being referred for a brain scan and EEG. I think they have to treat me within 18 weeks so hopefully it won't be too long. But I also have to surrended my license to the DVLA for a minimum of 6 months, or quite likely a year (sob). I'm currently mourning but trying to be positive.
Oh, and I'm not to drink heavily and "better not to drink at all". Slightly quieter Greenbelt this year then...
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