Thursday, September 24, 2009

Why we should be oviparous

1. It's hard to turn over in bed.
2. I think my pelvis has broken.
3. Everyone can see that you are pregnant. There's no privacy. Really.
4. It's a dense weight attached to your front which makes walking up slopes tiring.
5. It's not cute to have a baby kicking around inside you. It's just weird.
6. Indigestion and heartburn.
7. I don't fit in spaces I used to.

I am happy to look after an egg and carry it round for 9 months. I'll get an incubator to put it in at work. We can take turns to look after it. I think eggs are the way forward. Now we just need the science to catch up.

5 comments:

RedHillian said...

If you had to lay an egg, it would be big enough when you laid it to fit the baby in fully grown.

You would still have to lay it.

Have you ever heard chickens laying?

Sarah said...

Yes, but I wouldn't have to carry the bloody thing round inside me for 9 months!

Zoe said...

Start a facebook group - I'll join!

Sarah said...

I have a pain in my bump. I'm not sure if it's caused by the baby sticking her foot in my ribs or just all my internal organs being shmushed up by the baby, but it hurts to breathe and it hurts to move. Not enough to justify staying off work, just enough to make my life uncomfortable.

Hello, I'm whiny.

1 i z said...

I've long maintained that if women ruled the world, test-tube babies would be more a case of "what it says on the tin"...

Similarly I believe we'd have spent less time developing long range missiles and more time working on a solution to a red hair dye that doesn't fade.

I'm happy to accept that while on a completely self-centred level I find the second example to be a more pressing need than the first, the whole baby/parasite inside, thing is probably the one that we should concentrate on more...