Tuesday, May 23, 2006

What's that? Ooh, it looks like the end!

Yes, the end is in sight. In two weeks' time I shall be on holiday, (no, not going anywhere, just at home) lying in bed and enjooying being free. I have a first draft of the monster essay. Last night I dreamt I got 65% for it. I think this was not prophetic as it is quite embarrassingly bad. And everyone says "but I'm sure it's not as bad as you think." Honestly, I'm not one of those people. It really is bad. It's about imperialism and doesn't discuss what imperialism is. It's not 6200 words so I need to get rid of approximately 2700 of them. That's my job for next week.

This week I'm finishing my dissertation proposal. This is about the right word length but needs some critical thinking put into it. Could be tricky.

And this could really be the end, folks. When writing my essay last week I realised I wasn't enjoying it and hadn't enjoyed anything I'd done all year. So why, if I don't enjoy doing research and analysis, do an MA just to get a research and analysis job? All the jobs I've ever done, I've enjoyed organising things. So now I'm looking into whether I can get a postgraduate certificate for the work I've done so far and then launch myself into the world of careers. I'm thinking along the lines of events management or operations - something practical.

And then I can have my life back, see my friends, get more involved in the Green Party and Friends of the Earth, more involved with Sanctus and see Matt occasionally. I think I can contribute more by doing a supporting role in an organisation which is doing the sort of things I'm interested in than making myself unhappy trying to come up with a New Plan For Humanity which will have serious theoretical flaws badly hidden in it.

5 comments:

JoeyD said...

I love you and think you are amazing. You are already changing the world by challenging how things are. I guess even the things we do want to do can be really really hard at times, but if this masters is destroying you, why conform to the world's way of doing things by staying in something which is, overall, stealing your time and making you miserable? Hold out for the feedback on your essay. Have an amazing break over summer, then reasses things. that's what I reckon anyway. And, by the way, I think your New Plan for Humanity is likely to be more successful than anything I could come up with since I can't even work out the VAT on a phone bill.

Sarah said...

Multiply it by 1.175 and you'll be fine.

Unless they've changed VAT while I wasn't looking.

Ummm, I seem to have finished. I need to print my essay out and hand it in with an essay extension email I was sent (tricky because my email has been down for two days). And I need to go through the dissertation proposal and look for any changes as I shut it down without saving it. But I can do those on Thursday and hand it in and I'll be all done.

A round of applause for me please...

Sarah said...

Purging

My essays are printed off and ready to be handed in tomorrow.
All my university library books are packed up and ready to return tomorrow.
I've gone through the pile of papers and assorted crap that I've acquired over the past term or so and tidied/recycled them.
My desk is - while not empty - devoid of studying stuff.

I feel weirdly glad but sad at the same time. I'm not 100% sure my studying days are over yet. But for now they are...

Ruth said...

I wish I could think of something wise and helpful to say. But one thing's for sure: there's no age bar to returning to study. You can always come back to it. And The Green Party and Friends of the Earth could really do with your help.

I hope that the way forward makes itself obvious to you (in a way that it rarely does for me!!!)

Julesy said...

Wey hey, you're freeeeeeeeeeeeee. K is still stressed and tired frantically studying for his exam tomorrow and then he's free for summer too. He'll be in the SU Bar after the exam getting rather merry (to put it politely) if you fancy chatting with other students.

I think the first poster's comments are sound advice. I just wish decisions weren't so hard to make and we had the benefit of hindsight....wishful thinking.