Why we should be oviparous

1. It's hard to turn over in bed.

2. I think my pelvis has broken.

3. Everyone can see that you are pregnant. There's no privacy. Really.

4. It's a dense weight attached to your front which makes walking up slopes tiring.

5. It's not cute to have a baby kicking around inside you. It's just weird.

6. Indigestion and heartburn.

7. I don't fit in spaces I used to.

I am happy to look after an egg and carry it round for 9 months. I'll get an incubator to put it in at work. We can take turns to look after it. I think eggs are the way forward. Now we just need the science to catch up.

Education for all?

So the Confederation of British Industry think students should pay more to go to university and be lent the money at a more 'realistic' rate of interest? Ok, let's make it retrospective. Let's charge all those who benefited from free tuition and grants the money that was used to subsidise their education. Let's charge realistic interest, backdated to when they graduated. And let's compound it. And then we'll see how the CBI like it.

I was one of the first students to be charged tuition fees. I missed out on getting a grant by taking a year out. This was possibly the most expensive year out ever as I left university with debts of around £12,000. I now pay this back at a rate of 9% of everything I earn over £15,000 pa. Once interest is taken into account, I pay about £500 off my loan each year, which means effectively I am paying a graduate tax, as I will pay my loan off roughly around the same time as my mortgage.

I do feel that my generation of students have been pretty much screwed, as not only do we pay a lot for our education, we're also experiencing high house prices - unlike those people who experienced free university education and then benefited from huge growth in the equity in their property - which leaves very little money to save for pensions or anything else. I don't think this country is 'going to the dogs' or all the other things people seem to like to say - I just feel frustrated that the generation above us have benefited from free education and are now so keen to pull up the ladder.