Bollocks!

I didn't get the job.

It sucks.

I feel like I compromised my interview preparation by trying to work on my essay, and my essay work by doing interview preparation.

Oh well, I suppose sometimes life is sad and there's nopoint whining about it.

Feeling hectic

Thought I'd just give a bit of an update as my life is feeling a bit crazy at the moment.

I working on my report and would like to hand it in while at uni on Wednesday to save another trip on Friday, but I don't think I'll manage it. It's coming together but I'd like another couple of weeks to think about my arguments and back them up, and maybe, just maybe, read some interesting things.

I have an interview on Tuesday morning for the Neighbourhood Management Officer job, which means that getting the report done for Wednesday is unlikely. By my reckoning there are 6 other people being interviewed. I'm hopeful - I'd really like the job - but I'll just have to see how it goes on the day.

Next weekend I'm going down to south Wales (I forget where - hopefully I'll remember by the time I set off) to see Greenbelt stewarding friends. I'm expecting lots of fun and some fireworks. I'm also driving down which I'm quite excited about - I haven't done much long-distance driving.

And then, after that, Matt and I are going up to Skye for his mum's wedding. It's a very long way - 8 hours driving plus any stops. We went to the Trafford Centre today to try to get clothes to wear to the wedding but didn't realise it shut at 8 rather than 10 so were not ultimately successful. It's not like I have time for another shopping trip but I will just have to find time...

Genius!

I was listening to Genius on Radio 4 this evening. The idea is that people come up with ideas that they think are genius, and a Radio 4-type celebrity (funny, clever or, usually, both) decided whether they are or not, and then the audience decides which is most genius. You had to feel sorry for one guy. His idea was "husbands 4 justice". Rather than campaigning for access to their children, they want their wives to make them hot puddings, initally on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, working up to 7 days a week. He thought he was presenting to Nigella Lawson. Turns out it's Germaine Greer. She was never going to like it...

I'm going for promotion at work. It's weird. I've never been for promotion before. Not only do I have the worry that I'm not presenting myself aboslutely as well as I can, I also have the fear that, as these people have seen me work for the past year, they might sit reading my appliaction and saying She really thinks she's that good? You can't blag your way through interviews in quite the same way, I'm guessing.

I know I can do the job, I really want it, and it's a very public competition. If I don't get it I will feel like I've let myself down because I know I can. If only I can write the right think on this damn application form... I keep thinking "I'm sure I've done other things like this...". Just have to remember them...

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I just re-remembered Googlefight! I was hoping it might help me to win an argument. It didn't, but it pleased me again...

Answers on a postcard...

PostSecret has, I imagine, become a Sunday habit for many people. I'll have a look at the post-cards sent in anonymously, handmade, revealing people's deepest secrets. I love it because it shows that my deepest secret isn't just my secret. The thing you think you could never confess because it is too terrible? Send it in and someone will say, "I feel that too".

Try to visit PostSecret today and you'll find a blank page owned by Nicole, who has been on Blogger since September 2007. 7741 people had viewed her profile last time I looked, so I'm guessing it really is a habit for many people. We're all wondering where PostSecret has gone. Has Nicole stolen it? Is this the end?

Obscure Greenbelt post

I just found this. I thought it was just me.

A growing problem...

So, I signed up a very nice tenant today. We were chatting and I asked her about her baby - how old he was, that sort of thing. And then she looked at me and asked, "Is that your first?"






I said, "No, it's just fat." She had the grace to look very embarrassed.

It's a family thing. Both my sisters put weight on on their bellies in a vaguely pregnancy-bump style as well. We don't know about my mum as she doesn't put weight on.

Fortunately I don't have issues about how I look as this isn't the first time this has happened by a long way. Possibly, if I did have issues, it wouldn't happen as I'd lose the bump.

However, I do know that I need to do some exercise and lose some weight to feel healthier. The problem is that I am very lazy and don't really like exercise. I'll do it for a few days and then I get bored. I quite often feel too tired to exercise (I know, if did more exercise and lost some weight I'd have more energy...) and there's always things I'd rather do. But I think, if I don't do it now, maybe I'll just get older and fatter...

Any suggestions?

Greenbelt '07

I'm back from Greenbelt! This has definitely been my favourite Greenbelt ever – much better without a broken leg!

I work as a support steward. We start at 7 pm (ish) and finish at 3 am (ish). We help other stewarding teams when they need it, we wander round and talk to Greenbelters, we look for lost children, and do anything else we're asked to do to make Greenbelt a safe and pleasant place to be.

I love being part of the support team – we work together every year and meet up between Greenbelts so we do know each other well. It's a varied and interesting job, and more challenging than a lot of stewarding roles. Other stewards seem to appreciate us as we help them out with managing difficult situations and talk to them when they're bored on a gate somewhere. I feel like when I'm stewarding, I'm most like me, and most happy.

I've reflected a lot on what I like and don't like about my job this year. I like the first half of the evening best – we help out with venues and queues and talk to Greenbelters more. The second half seems to be more security-ish – looking for people who are trying to get into Greenbelt who shouldn't, or people who are causing trouble somewhere. I'm not so keen on it – partly because I have less experience of it and partly because I'm not sure what I'd do with people if I did catch them...

There were some highlights this year. I helped Venues stewards manage a huge queue for a small circus venue which was due to go in at the same time as a singing event in the organic beer tent was due to kick out – through the circus queue... I also helped to manage the queue for the Delirious signing – only 40 people or so turned up but it was fun anyway. And we went as a team to the Site Stewards' team briefing to heckle Stuart Traffic – I think we enjoyed it more than he did... Sanctus1, the church I'm part of, led the main communion service. I sat in the arena stage. We all released helium balloons – we all watched as ours rose into the sky, and then a second wave of balloons from main stare reminded us that, although we were at two venues with a different feel, we were still at once service. It was magical.

Greenbelt also sees me at my worst. I'm not a morning person. But when I'm woken up by a load of famillies going to a worship event after about 5 hours sleep, I can be a bit irritable. And sometimes, inadvisably, I might express that irritation. Equally, asking a 12-year-old if he was a horse because he was crossing the race track might not have been the best attempt at communication I have ever made (yes, we learnt about sarcasm at basic training. Yes, I've got my name down for re-training next year).

And at my drunkest. This year I discovered I like cider. Stories differ on how much I drunk, but I think it's fair to say that it was probably more than I should have had. At least I'm a happy drunk – between my morning irritability (“I hate you all”) and my drunken ramblings (“You do know that I love you, don't you?” - yes, I am embarrassed) I probably equate to a pleasant human being. I did fall off the pub bench of my own accord once, but I was definitely pushed the rest of the time... I have never been sick in a portaloo before and think I'm probably lucky I don't remember much about it. But I am definitely lucky to have to good friends I do who took me to the toilet, to my tent, put a duvet over me and stayed up to make sure I was ok. It's friends like these that make Greenbelt what it is.

Bastards!

I was mugged last night. Walking home from the station in the pouring rain, someone grabbed my arm. I screamed and felt my bag pulled out of my hand, so I turned round and saw a man running away with it. I shouted "stop thief!" (being, as I was, in a 1950s cop film) and chased him shouting "give me back my bag, you bastard!". He jumped in a car which was waiting with its engine running, and they drove away.

I am lucky: I wasn't hurt, they didn't get my keys or phone or my mp3 player. They took my purse so I've had to cancel my bank cards, and they've got a load of other useful and sentimentally valuable things. They've got a very nice bag. They've got my Manchester A-Z. They've taken the job application I was working on. And they've taken my sense of safety. I am fairly safety-conscious when walking about but it was a main-ish road and it wasn't that late or that dark. I'm not prepared to live in fear of crime, but I am quite shaken.

And having a bit of a bad week of it too. Last Wednesday I went out for drinks in Manchester with some friends. While walking to the bus stop a man tried to get me into his car - not by force but by claiming to be a taxi. Having been brought up to be aware of Stranger Danger, I said no, but I still felt intimidated on a dark and empty street but a man driving alongside me in a car. I told some police officers who said it is a bit problem. Unfortunately I couldn't remember the numberplate. But it makes me appreciate Nexus, which runs a night cafe offering coffee and safe, legal taxis.

I'm not saying Manchester is a dangerous place to live, just that some people are bastards.

Party party party!

We picked up our keys just after 3pm.

We now own a house.

The move was incredibly smooth. We are incredibly grateful to everyone who helped with lugging about heavy furniture and putting together stuff from IKEA, carrying things up into the attic, and waiting patiently while I deliberated over having the shelves in the lounge or the bedroom. I think you people may be relieved that now we've bought a house we won't be asking you to help us move again for a while...

We're mostly unpacked and life feels back to normal - last weekend we did no unpacking or house stuff at all - we did do a lot of drinking though! There are still quite a few things which need sorting out/moving/unpacking/putting up and some bits of painting and decorating. We've had a few problems (such as the bath overflow overflowing directly into the kitchen on ou first night...) and it turns out to be a bit scary being responsible for the house - there are times when a landlord is a wonderful thing - we had a few problems with our gas meter and boiler today and I didn't like having to sort it all out myself....

So we are having a housewarming party on Saturday 18th August from 4pm. It's going to be a barbecue. If you'd like to come, stick your email address in the comments section and I'll send you some details.

Waiting...

Due to complete today. I have been at work this morning and been on edge waiting for someone to ring me to tell me I can pick up the keys to my new house. It is now 1 o'clock and no-one has rung.

What if there is a problem? What if there is a bit of paper missing? What if the money hasn't come through?

So far our solicitor has been pretty good.

We have somewhere between six and eight people coming to help us move tomorrow. I need my keys NOW!*

Will be off-line for a bit until we get the internet set up in OUR NEW HOUSE...

*Do you ever get the sense from reading my blog that I might occasionally be a bit impatient?

A few tears

I have just put my beautiful wedding dress in a box to post it to the Oxfam bridal department in Bradford.

I got married on 27th July 2002. I have never felt or looked so beautiful in my life and I can't imagine I ever will again. And, to be honest, I don't think I really want to.

I never wanted to keep my wedding dress - it seems a waste for it to slowly decompose in a wardrobe or in my attic. It is so beautiful and special that someone else should get to wear it.

But...

Most charity shops have wedding dresses that were made in 1985 and look horrible. It's too beautiful to be in a shop with them.

I couldn't put it on e-bay because most wedding dresses there sell for about £50 and it is too precious and valuable to sell it for that little.

As we're moving again, this seems an ideal time to pass it on. So I'm giving it to Oxfam, who have a bridal department in Bradford. I like Oxfam - I like the variety and quality of the work they do - and their charity shops usually seem slightly nicer than most. And, as I'm posting it, I can imagine it is in a beautiful bridal department, with a whole host of other beautiful wedding dresses, in the company it deserves.

While I never wanted to keep it, I am sad to see it go. And yes, I did cry a little as I shut the lid.

Complete!

We have agreed to complete on the 20th! It looks like we could have done it a bit earlier if we wanted but two weeks for packing and organising everything seems like a good idea. I am VERY EXCITED.

So we should get the keys at lunchtime on the 20th and I'll take the afternoon off work (and try to avoid putting anything serious or complicated in my calendar for the morning. Then we can go and look at the house - and hope we still like it - and plan where to put all our furniture. Then on the 21st it will be the big move. If anyone would like to help lug boxes and carry shelves, we'd love to have you. I promise to do my best not to get injured in the next 15 days and also to remember that boxes full of books are VERY HEAVY.

Woo-hoo!

Our contracts have arrived in the post today! I've read everything through twice and everything seems ok. So now we have to sign everything, some signatures being witnessed, and post it back to our solicitor. Then the sellers have to sign some other things. Then we have to agree our moving date and give the solicitor the best part of £1000. And start putting things in boxes.

I am terrified.

Brenda RIP

My goldfish, Brenda, died today. She was just over 7. I feel a bit sad. I hope she's gone to the great fishbowl in the sky, where she can be re-united with Barry, who didn't live quite so long...

Watching, reading, listening

Watching... I just watched Brokeback Mountain. I think I would have got on better had I been able to understand what people were saying, if they didn't mumble all the time. I'm not sure what to take away from it: don't be gay in 1963; life is better if you go with the person that you love; it's better to have loved than just settle for second-best? I feel like there's something deeper but I can't put my finger on it - something about tragedy and hope - maybe it's because I have a chest infection, or maybe the film was just too damn deep for me.

Reading... The Night Watch by Sarah Waters. The first time I read it I had vivid dreams about being in a war. It is beautifully written and very clever, starting in 1947 (or something like that) and working backwards in 3 parts, and there are loads of things you pick up a hint of in an earlier (chronologicaaly later) section and then find out later. I'm trying to decide whether it stands a second reading when you already know what the twists are.

Listening... The first album I ever bought was So far, so good by Bran Adams, a 'best of' in the early-to-mid 90s. It was on tape, the tape went wobbly, a friend did me a copy, the copy went wobbly. I saw Anthology, a two disk* retrospective, and thought it might be a good replacement. Thank you, Mr Adams, all the old stuff, which is cheesy but good, is on the first disc** The newer stuff, which is cheesy in the worsst possible sense, is on the second disck. Saves trying to skip tracks while driving. However, as the first diskc is pretty much So Far, So Good, perhaps I would have been better just replacing my original album with a CD version...

* Or maybe it should be a 'c'.
**Or maybe it should be a 'k'. Who knows?

Really, how hard can it be?

Six weeks after I sent all the information, and a few days after the final mortgage offer was supposed to have been posted to us, the mortgage company ring up. We use an internet bank so the statements I posted in don't have our address on, so can't be used as proof of our address. Now, had they told me this six weeks ago and asked for alternative proof, I would have been happy. As they didn't, and I want my house NOW, I am pretty livid. They did apologise and accept it was their fault, so I haven't asked for anyone's liver to be posted to me in a box to appease my wrath. Yet.

Win-win-ish

I have an interview for a job on Friday. It's a temporary housing officer job in central Manchester. I'd like it because:

• It's more responsibility and a definite career progression
• It's more money
• I would get to do rent arrears and lettings as well as tenancy issues, which would be very interesting

I'm not sure about it because:

• I'd be leaving a permanent post for an up-to-12-months post. Housing is a fairly buyant sector, but I am enjoying my new-found job security!
• I'd like to start doing my professional qualifications, but I can't see the new company paying for that when I'd only be there 12 months or so
• I really like the people I work with. Working with good people is not something to take lightly
• We'd have to buy another car which we can't really afford

I wouldn't want you to think I can't make decisions on my own, but I would be interested in what you think.

Bored of...

I got bored of being spiderman.

In fact, I am bored of lots of things...

I am bored of being tired. I am exceptionally tired at the moment - stress over house-buying, lack of sleep, not enough vegetables.

I am also getting bored of house-buying now. It is just taking forever. However, I suspect we might suddenly have a conveyancing explosion and find ourselves living in a new house one day. It's just a case of waiting for lots of bits of paper from lots of people.

That's it really. Not too much excitement.

Apart from realising my best friend is leaving the country FOREVER (well, 3 years) in two weeks rather than the... um... few months it's been in my head for the past few months. I'm really pleased that she is going to do something really exciting that she wants to do. I just wish she was doing it in the same country as me. Sob sob.

Guess I'll get sued to it...

I Am Spiderman!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Superman 65% Supergirl 62% Wonder Woman 62% Iron Man 55% Robin 52% Batman 50% The Flash 35% Green Lantern 35% Hulk 30% Catwoman 10%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...